A refresher course on flying monkeys. In a nutshell, “The distinguishing characteristics of the narcissist’s emissaries is that they do ask your point of view or empathize with you.”
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Pray well. Be well. Love well, Dear Readers.
In Part 1, I presented the problem in an open letter to daughters of narcissists.
In Part 2, I addressed the interior healing necessary to move on from this abusive relationship.
Now I’d like to let you know what to expect once you go No Contact.
Prepare to be admonished by well-meaning people. Those specializing in recovery from narcissistic abuse use the term “flying monkeys” to describe the emissaries groomed by your mother, those believe her tale of woe and victimization.
A reader, Shannon L., shared, “The further I move away from my mother the angrier she gets. She starts leaning on her flying monkeys more, and then they get mad at me, too.”
My personal best example of the scheming and manipulation by a narcissist—how they anoint their flying monkeys and the emotional fallout that ensues—happened a few months before I finally went No-Contact from my mother.
My husband and I bought a house…
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Thank you for this and all related posts. It helps to read about your experience and see that my mother truly is a cruel narcissist. I can identify so closely with what you have experienced. After her last trip to a psych ward, the doctor told me in no uncertain terms: your mother is not mentally ill. She knows exactly what she is doing at all times. She has behavioral health issues, which is actually worse. She will never change.
Once I realized that all the hurt, all the devestating scenarios that had played themselves out last year were caused very directly and purposefully by her, a switch flipped off. My dad passed away last month and he died despising her after 61 years of an unhappy marriage. I am in process of going no contact and now I know I am ready. Wishing you many blessings and joy, Lisa.
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